Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Like Someone Else's

I tried a braid out this week. I washed and conditioned my locks, braided them (about 20 braids) rolled the ends with ssc and a Lottabody/water solution.

The result was this super curly/krinkly look that I really wasn't feeling. I couldn't style it and it just looked unruly. So I slept on it (no pineapple, no scarf). The next day, the curl was looser but I had "big hair" instead of the falling krinkly look that I admire on others like Sister-In-Locks, Leighann & Creyole.

Day three - today, the curls are loose enough that I like the look. I am always learning - no discovering - something new about my hair as this journey continues. As I was finger combing my curly/krinklies, I realized it was my naturally layered locks that prevents them from hanging the way I think they should. In fact, that's not something my hair will ever do, so I can just stop trippin 'bout dat...duh!!!


LIKE SOMEONE ELSE'S

This past week, while reading some blogs I found it ironic, that we always seem to want what we don't have. Locks "like" someone elses.

I was reading my gurls'
TRA and Creyole's blogs (I haven't asked for their permission to share this, but they're my friends and know they won't mind me singling them out. Click on a name to read their full, interesting post.) Each wishes for a hair characteristics they don't naturally have.

TRA would like softer hair while I envy the feel of hers. I often feel if my hair were more course, my locks would look and hang better. The truth is, TRA's locks have naturally inherent characteristics, just as mine are uniquely mine. In other words, it is what it is. Now there are things and products we can use to help our locks feel and look closer to how we'd like them. However, I suggest the more we understand our naturalness and how to enhance it rather than change it, the more natural our locks will behave given time.

THE TRUTH

Creyole and I locked two months apart...she's understandbly anxious to completely lock, she wants her ends to lose the bud, she want's the shorter side to catch up with the longer side. But the truth is...hair locks at its on unique pace, it will bud when it's supposed to bud, and one side may have always been and will always be different. You know why? Because it's intrinsically "your" hair; like you - similar - but unlike any other.

LOCKED4LIFE!

But the good news is, when it does lock - it's locked and locked for life! Those specific hair worries never to surface again. Then you can cut them, style them, and have the freedom to do all the things that gave you reason to want Sisterlocks in the first place, making the lock journey intimately yours and characteristically - you.

As my Sisterlocks journey continues, I can break another unseen chain and embrace the knowledge that my locks will never lay like Sister-In-Locks, or feel like TRA's or look like Creyole's. But they're not supposed to. They're supposed to look characteristically like - BlaqKofi.


10 comments:

Cashana said...

Love the after effect. Your comments are so true and as I am in week one of my journey, I will keep these thoughts in mind. BTW, you have truly been inspiring and most of all helpful to a newbie like me.

brunsli said...

Great points!!

We chatted about this a while back, and you really helped me by pointing out while I was disappointed that my hair wouldn't look like Leighann's (the only hair blogger at the time), they would look like something, and that something would be what was right for me. I think I have finally gotten over that I'm not going to have perfectly uniform locks, and I've decided to like them the way they are.

Thanks Blaq!!

Creyole's Sisterlock Exodus said...

BlaqKofi, oh how I feel the love and that's why I admire you so much! You could not have said it any better and I know that things will eventually get better. Sometimes I just get in that "ole funk" and need to release. Thank goodness for sistahs like you to bring it on home.

Cyber Hug ((((HUG))))

Brenda said...

You're right Blaq - you gotta do you! But it's so funny that some of the characteristics you like least about your own hair are those that others would kill for. I guess the one good thing that admiring someone else's hair does for you is encourage you to play around with your own to find what works for you.

Sister-in-Locks said...

Amen and Amen to what everyone has said. BTW - I also have envied your fullness. I get in those funks also about my hair. So keep lifting us up! Blaq

CloudNine said...

I realize that my hair will never look like another sistahs locks...what I did not realize is that my hair could look like this period. There is not a day that goes by that I do not stop and thank GOD for this miracle. I have never been so completely happy with my hair in my life. Thank you for the inspiring words!

Goodnapps said...

This post is right on time and I couldn't agree more. Although I do look at your curl sets and wish my hair would curl like that, I've learned to accept my hair as is.

Chosen Vessel said...

I love the braid out on you, it looks great! The braid out/twist out is one of my favorite styles next to the roller-set. But as you said you do have to wait a couple days to let the curls fall better for those of us who have naturally layered hair.

Ayo said...

I know you posted this a year ago but ... Wow, are you wonderful, Blaq! Your writing (style and topics) are so inspiring. After reading your posts, a woman can't help but feel that she is totally ok just the way she is. (Getting SL'd next weekend and can't wait to post my first pics!)

BlaqKofi said...

Ayo, you touched me girl and I appreciate you so. My writing is cathartic. I've spent so much of my life disliking me (my smile, my skin hue, my kinky hair). Now that I know I am beautiful from within - I can't help but share with others. Congrats on lockin next weekend. Welcome to the sisterhood!

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