Friday, June 11, 2010

The True BlaqKofi

We've shared each stage of my Sisterlocks transition over the past five years.  Documented for the world to see - growth, color, highlights, damage, recovery, products and countless styles.  But what you couldn't see was the transformation occurring within me. 

A very introverted friend asked recently, "how can you expose yourself so openly to the Blog world and beyond?" I shared that writing, for me, is cathartic. Sharing releases it's power - and relinquishes me. Not always comfortable or easy. Sometimes I look back on some of the things I've written over the years and I surprise myself. But I've learned that truth and freedom go hand and hand.

I spoke at a small women's conference recently in my home town of Fort Worth. It was a special evening for me.  I was about to introduce and share the true BlaqKofi publicly for the first time.  I was caught off guard by several members of my church in attendance, including someone who had hurt me with words over five years before. Their presence shook my resolve, making the evening even more self challenging.  These women knew me, or at least thought they did.  But there was no turning back at that point.

Afterwards, buoyed by my freedom of self- disclosure, I privately shared with the sister how her words had deeply hurt me those many years ago. I told her that she probably didn't even remember the occurance, but that is has remained with me. (Often the person we deem wronged us, is oblivious of our perception and is going about their life - not giving us a passing thought. Yet the tumor remains, devouring us internally, slowly, stealing positive energy and resources.)

Chuch Member: "I didn't realize that my words hurt you. I'm sorry if they did. I've always admired you. What I actually meant to say was that you're always so together, you seem so confident and happy, yet humble. Like you have it all together and when I saw you cry, I thought wow! She's just like me. She has problems too."

Blaq: "You just witnessed me stand before a room full of women and share that while I was sitting in church Sunday after Sunday "looking like I have it altogether" I was dying and hurting inside. Don't assume to know someone based on size or hair or locks or clothes or shoes or position. Or because they don't outwardly express emotions in the same manner as others.  None of that exempts me from life's challenges. I struggle just like everyone else. My spirit wouldn't let me leave without speaking to you tonight and releasing this.  In releasing this, I was blessed by you in return.  Know my sister that you are not alone.  You are not the only one who suffers.  And if I can overcome...you can to.  Be encouraged."

I had no idea she admired me. Choosing instead to listen to the negative chatter in my head fueled by my own self doubt. I didn't feel good about myself, how could/would someone admire me? 

Sisters, I'm just plain-ole BlaqKofi from the Stop-Six neighborhood of Fort Worth, Texas. I'm no different than anyone else traversing this life.  In fact most of you would be quite surprised to know the road traveled to the destination of the true BlaqKofi.

The past five years have been my most life defining.  Forever altering my internal image of self and setting me on the path to my higher purpose.

"Old, destructive patterns of behavior, compound our mistakes. "If we won't face things voluntarily, the situation usually gets worse and worse until at some point, the results of our past choices are staring us in the face and we're forced to deal with them.  In my case, those results were so obvious and so life-changing there was no way possible to ignore them."

Excerpts from Lisa Nichols book, "No Matter What!"  A must read for any sister desiring to reach her full potential, battling inner-self, self doubt, low self-esteem, mental or physical abuse, spirituality or the flesh. Insightful, authentic and empowering from a sister's perspective.  From a round-da-way-girl perspective.  From Blaq's perspective.  It's almost as if she chronicled my life.  "No Matter What!" has proven helpful and inspiring beyond measure.  In her book she also shares her physical and spiritual transition to naturalness and self-acceptance. I've often stated this journey far transcends the external physical appearance. I'm gonna meet that sister one day and train with her.  I own the audio and the book.  I've shared many a morning with the voice of Lisa Nichols inviting me to "step into my greatness."

So here I am, beginning the next new phase of this journey.  All that was required of me was to begin "to stand in that powerful yet humble place of self-acceptance and finally show the world who I am: unadulterated, unrestricted, and totally free."  In doing so, I uncovered my life purpose: 

To inspire, motivate, encourage and empower women to their full life potential through knowledge and enlightment. 

I'm presently transitioning from my full-time work to my passion - teaching other women self honesty and love by sharing my personal story while acquiring the training and certification to provide women with the tools and knowledge to identify and address their core issues. 

Lisa states it this way, "we need to identify and own the habitual patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving that don't serve you and then to be willing to honor and celebrate yourself in prepartion for shifting those patterns."  Once that self-actualization occurs, there are no limitations to our individual greatness.  The proof is evidenced in the true BlaqKofi!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who over the past five years has written, posted, visits and continues to visit Natural Awakenings. Your energy strengthens me.

My journey of self continues - along with that of my Sisterlocks. 

BlaqKofi
Certified Sisterlocks Consultant
SL'd 5 yrs

Oh....notice anything different? 

To be continued...

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

bangs! love them!

WandaWoman said...

I love your bangs! They look so cute on you!

V said...

Hey Blaq,

Your stories always touch home. I can realate to this story. I have been holding a grude against some one that I'm some what close to because of something they said(more like assumed) of me and my hubby. People ALWAYS think they know but they really have no idea. I honestly feel bad for holding this grudge because everytime I see that person, I think about what they said. To be honest it wasn't a very bad comment. I just didn't like it because it wasn't true. Part of me wants to confront the person, but part of me doesn't. I think it's too late to mention it now. Plus I think if I do mention it now, I would offend that person, and I don't want to mess cause any tenstion. Like you said,I'm sure the person doesn't even remember or doesn't know they offended me. SO I will try my best to move on because it's so not worth it. Thanks for the post. I needed it. Your locks are gorgeous! I love the bangs they look fabulous on you. Is your hair darker as well? I can't really tell, I'm blogging from my phone. Hope all is well friend, take care,
V

Euphoria's Sisterlocks said...

You have bangs now looks good

Kendi G. said...

cute bangs :) If my hair were longer I'd do it too. Nice post Blaqkofi!

nubia34 said...

I think you will be great at teaching other women through your story. You have always been an inspiration to me since the first time I met you. You were my inspiration to go natural. The day I came to work feeling self conscious about my TWA you made me feel like I was beautiful. You even took a pic and posted it on your blog for all to see. That gave me confidence that I had truly made the right decision. Sometimes, I go back and look at that picture and it empowers me. If I haven't said it I'm saying it now. Thank you for inspiring me and for being my friend.

BTW the bangs are cute.

Love Ya
Tonia

scruffdiva said...

You are wonderful and strong! Thank you for what you give. I pray it becomes contagious! Love the bangs. Your color looks a smidge darker too, lady. Loves it.

Sandee said...

Blaqkofi, I just LOVE the bangs!!! And your willingness to share some private parts of your life with others is truly inspiring. It takes a strong woman who has self actualized to bring forth this positvity and what brought stress to your life.

Congratulations on the success of your speaking engagement and the strength to let someone know how they've hurt you in the past. That was a beautiful story.

The knotty Truth said...

i struggle with anonymity and exposure as well. it's a heavy mantle to help my sisters when so often we hurt with our words and actions in more ways than one. i am called to help those that have hurt me. i know it's a calling bc it wont let me go, either. by putting out love to the world i seek healing as well. you are on the right track, it is so scary. ive looked in my audiences and seen 'those' as well. bc you put your words out there, i will seek to heal the next time i see 'them'

thanks!
Chele

Nubian1 said...

Interesting journey indeed inside and out. Thanks for sharing!x

Nu-Me said...

Very nice stlye. I really like the bangs. Thanks for being you and sharing "you" with all of us!!!!

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Charizma00 said...

I love your hair, your bangs, the color...it looks evenl colored too. i liked the two tones on you though. Either way it's beautiful. Thank you for all that you do because you uplift so many. Thank you!

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NappTown said...

It's been a while since I've visited your blog. I really need to make more time to come back more often. I have admired you from day one. Four years ago it was your blog that inspired me to get sisterlocks. Since then I have spoken with you a few times via the blog and email. I feel so connected to you. It's like you really are my sister. You even called me that one time. You are truly a special lady. Continued blessings to you. And yes like the others said the difference is the bangs and the hair color is darker. It looks fab as usual :-)

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Lovin Natural said...

Your hair is the bomb! Also I love reading your blog. I purchased the Lisa Nichols book on CD and the book! I recommend this book to every beautiful black woman and to all women. The information is so useful for everyone. We all have something we are dealing with and there are many helpful insights in the book. Thank you and be Blessed!

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Lovenia said...

You are so inspiring! I pray you continue to shine your light, encouraging us all to find and follow our own unique paths...
Love, Peace, & Blessings!

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Katika Lovett said...

Greetings my dear sister,
You have always been an inspiration to me and I often look forward to checking out your blog. I remember vividly you and so many of the women of DFW starting your SL journeys years ago. My how time flies! Your journey has been amazing, but what is even more so wonderful is the journey to self. You've arrived! Thank you for sharing your heart AND your hair with us.

Waterfall Blessings,
Katika
SL'd 7 years

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Detra said...

As I bow my head in shame for JUST now learning of your new career as a life coach, this is EXACTLY as I see you, a motivator of love, life and happiness. Congrats and I know without a doubt, you will be a postive life changing asset to all of your clients.

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