The True BlaqKofi

We've shared each stage of my Sisterlocks transition over the past five years.  Documented for the world to see - growth, color, highlights, damage, recovery, products and countless styles.  But what you couldn't see was the transformation occurring within me. 

A very introverted friend asked recently, "how can you expose yourself so openly to the Blog world and beyond?" I shared that writing, for me, is cathartic. Sharing releases it's power - and relinquishes me. Not always comfortable or easy. Sometimes I look back on some of the things I've written over the years and I surprise myself. But I've learned that truth and freedom go hand and hand.

I spoke at a small women's conference recently in my home town of Fort Worth. It was a special evening for me.  I was about to introduce and share the true BlaqKofi publicly for the first time.  I was caught off guard by several members of my church in attendance, including someone who had hurt me with words over five years before. Their presence shook my resolve, making the evening even more self challenging.  These women knew me, or at least thought they did.  But there was no turning back at that point.

Afterwards, buoyed by my freedom of self- disclosure, I privately shared with the sister how her words had deeply hurt me those many years ago. I told her that she probably didn't even remember the occurance, but that is has remained with me. (Often the person we deem wronged us, is oblivious of our perception and is going about their life - not giving us a passing thought. Yet the tumor remains, devouring us internally, slowly, stealing positive energy and resources.)

Chuch Member: "I didn't realize that my words hurt you. I'm sorry if they did. I've always admired you. What I actually meant to say was that you're always so together, you seem so confident and happy, yet humble. Like you have it all together and when I saw you cry, I thought wow! She's just like me. She has problems too."

Blaq: "You just witnessed me stand before a room full of women and share that while I was sitting in church Sunday after Sunday "looking like I have it altogether" I was dying and hurting inside. Don't assume to know someone based on size or hair or locks or clothes or shoes or position. Or because they don't outwardly express emotions in the same manner as others.  None of that exempts me from life's challenges. I struggle just like everyone else. My spirit wouldn't let me leave without speaking to you tonight and releasing this.  In releasing this, I was blessed by you in return.  Know my sister that you are not alone.  You are not the only one who suffers.  And if I can overcome...you can to.  Be encouraged."

I had no idea she admired me. Choosing instead to listen to the negative chatter in my head fueled by my own self doubt. I didn't feel good about myself, how could/would someone admire me? 

Sisters, I'm just plain-ole BlaqKofi from the Stop-Six neighborhood of Fort Worth, Texas. I'm no different than anyone else traversing this life.  In fact most of you would be quite surprised to know the road traveled to the destination of the true BlaqKofi.

The past five years have been my most life defining.  Forever altering my internal image of self and setting me on the path to my higher purpose.

"Old, destructive patterns of behavior, compound our mistakes. "If we won't face things voluntarily, the situation usually gets worse and worse until at some point, the results of our past choices are staring us in the face and we're forced to deal with them.  In my case, those results were so obvious and so life-changing there was no way possible to ignore them."

Excerpts from Lisa Nichols book, "No Matter What!"  A must read for any sister desiring to reach her full potential, battling inner-self, self doubt, low self-esteem, mental or physical abuse, spirituality or the flesh. Insightful, authentic and empowering from a sister's perspective.  From a round-da-way-girl perspective.  From Blaq's perspective.  It's almost as if she chronicled my life.  "No Matter What!" has proven helpful and inspiring beyond measure.  In her book she also shares her physical and spiritual transition to naturalness and self-acceptance. I've often stated this journey far transcends the external physical appearance. I'm gonna meet that sister one day and train with her.  I own the audio and the book.  I've shared many a morning with the voice of Lisa Nichols inviting me to "step into my greatness."

So here I am, beginning the next new phase of this journey.  All that was required of me was to begin "to stand in that powerful yet humble place of self-acceptance and finally show the world who I am: unadulterated, unrestricted, and totally free."  In doing so, I uncovered my life purpose: 

To inspire, motivate, encourage and empower women to their full life potential through knowledge and enlightment. 

I'm presently transitioning from my full-time work to my passion - teaching other women self honesty and love by sharing my personal story while acquiring the training and certification to provide women with the tools and knowledge to identify and address their core issues. 

Lisa states it this way, "we need to identify and own the habitual patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving that don't serve you and then to be willing to honor and celebrate yourself in prepartion for shifting those patterns."  Once that self-actualization occurs, there are no limitations to our individual greatness.  The proof is evidenced in the true BlaqKofi!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who over the past five years has written, posted, visits and continues to visit Natural Awakenings. Your energy strengthens me.

My journey of self continues - along with that of my Sisterlocks. 

BlaqKofi

Certified Sisterlocks Consultant

SL'd 5 yrs

Oh....notice anything different? 

To be continued...