Tuesday, January 11, 2011

A Time When You Finally Get It

A time comes in your life when you finally get it…When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out – ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And , like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes because you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired.

This is your awakening. You realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it’s not your job to save the world. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say no. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love, romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love…and you learn that you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms…just to make you happy. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely…and you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside. You find ways to get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that the Universe isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It’s just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state – the ego! You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges instead of walls.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself. You make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with the positive energy of the Universe you take a stand, you take a deep breath and begin to design and live the life you want to live as best you can.
                                                                                                                                                        Author Unknown

I didn't write it. 

I could have


I finally get it...

Photos of my birthday gift, from-me-to-me.
Click photos for greater detail.


Locs2Envy said...

Beautiful and 100% true. I, too, could have wrote that. What a testimonial.

Crystal said...

I'm in love with today's post. Had to star it as a favorite in my feed list. It speaks so much to where I am now in my life

Nu-Me said...

Now, that's what aging and living life is all about :-)

Thanks for sharing!

How did you create that bun? Love it!

Rockin Robin said...

Beautiful post! So where I am in life right now. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and truthful post. Trust God and all things are possible! Peace and blessings.

Unknown said...

Beautiful! I am at this place in my life right now. Very encouraging words. Be blessed!

Unknown said...

In my constant quest for some sign of what to do now... your words or quotes or thoughts always find me. I am listening and trying valiantly to get it.... I think I took a step closer with these words.... Thank you so much, BlaqKofi. Thank you..

Anonymous said...

What an amazing post! What's more amazing is actually getting it... I'm definitely a work and progess and striving to get it everyday.

Trying to please everyone gets exhausting and finally realizing you can't actually please everyone is alleviating. I know this post isn't just about this but it's what I needed to hear at this moment.

Thank you for this post.

Anonymous said...

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

Christopher Robin to Pooh
by A.A. Milne

Best to you,
from mogirl

Gerrylocs said...

love the post, and also love your updo style...would have a loved a picture of the backview :-)

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