The Most Important Part of Sisterlocks

Queens! I have missed sharing with you.  Been experiencing life - the ebbs and the flows.  But, where there are valleys, there also are peaks.  I been climbin!  But this evening, it's just you and me - and Sisterlocks, of course.

I love the look and feel of my Sisterlocks.  I love their flexibility and versatility.  I love the freedom of washing and styling my own hair, riding with the windows down, getting in the water rather than watching from the sidelines.  But, I cherish the Sisterlocks Sisterhood most.   I've come to understand that the most important part of Sisterlocks is NOT the locks - it's the SISTER. 

This weekend I got to experience it in abundance.  My clients Monica, Kendra, Sandee, Maya and Venus came out to hear me speak at the Let's Talk About Hair forum in Oklahoma City.  There were over forty women of every hue and hair texture sharing, learning and networking.

That's the SISTER in Sisterlocks.

Just when I was wondering if my blog was serving a purpose I received this email.  It made my day!

"I just want to tell you how much I enjoy your blog. I have been learning a lot.  I am not ready to lock yet but I am obsessed with your site!  I just want you to know that many people are benefiting from your energy even if you don't always hear from them."

That's the SISTER in Sisterlocks.

Facebook friend and fellow Sisterlocks Consultant, Connie from L.A., helped me out with some Sisterlocks supplies.  She was so kind and accommodating.  I could tell that she sincerely wanted to help me.  She even encouraged me to take some "me" time.  The irony is, I've never even met her personally yet and still she reached out to me.

That's the SISTER in Sisterlocks. 

My girl Venus, who I hadn't seen in over a year, drove two hours to see me.  We got to sit down, grown folks style, Saturday night and share the way we used to.  It was nice to exhale authentically...

That's the SISTER in Sisterlocks.

The Consultant/Client relationship is so special and intimate.  I love my one-on-one time with my clients and I think they enjoy me also.  My place is quaint and intimate, peaceful with smooth jazz or some Neo Soul (I been jammin' that new Ledisi lately) Old School, R&B or Gospel depending on the mood.  But always good times of sharing like Angie, from Kansas, and I had on Saturday afternoon. 

That's the SISTER in Sisterlocks.

My girl Sandee hooked a sister up with a Red Bull to help me get through my Saturday retights. After speaking that morning I was drained.  What was I thinking, scheduling retights afterwards?  I take good care of my clients and they care for me.

That's the SISTER in Sisterlocks.

Today, I retightened Tanisha.  She has the most beautiful island accent.  I could just sit and listen to her talk. We have great "Chi."  I always look forward to sharing space with her because my girl is funny, deep and wise.  The "Sister in Sisterlocks" was born this morning as a result of one our moments.  She was selfless enough to allow me to share with you.

That's the SISTER in Sisterlocks...

The Sunday work day ended with a late brunch, lakeside with Belinda from Arkansas.   Great food, great conversation, great client and great friend.

And that's only those I interacted with this weekend!  My clients' support and the encouragement of my readers help me to continue to climb.  I won't ever stop, despite the sometimes rugged terrain and it's comforting knowing I'm not alone.

I remember the rush of wanting my locks to drop and settle and grow long and look like someone else's.  But I believe, it's not how fast or how long our Sisterlocks grow, but the SISTERS we become in the growing.

That's what's up....

 ~BK

It's Official

I did it, my Sisters - BlaqKofi, Certified Sisterlocks Consultant. The first certified consultant in the State of Oklahoma! I discovered this wonderful news Thurs, July 30, a bright spot in an otherwise very stressful day. (Thanks for your thoughtful phone call, LaShaune.)
A special thank you to my first three clients, "M" "S" and "Abuelita" for being the first to put your trust in me. I'm certified because of each of you. Locked4Life!

My certification, a blog comment from Happiest Nappy (I ab-so-lute-ly LOVE that name!) compelled me to share the following in celebration of my Sisters. The author is unknown.
A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot, humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter 'Don't forget your Sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass.

‘They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.

'Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always do...'

‘What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:
Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors...
Careers end.

BUT.........Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out. Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.

Everyday, we need each other still.

Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful.I just did.

Dedicated to those who encourage me to continue Natural Awakening. I am inspired by those who write to share how NA influenced their decision to lock and it's usefulness as a resource throughtout their journey.
Time to write has been scarces - yet life continues unfolding providing more Natural Awakenings...until next time,

Thank you, my Sisters.
BlaqKofi
Certified Sisterlocks Consultant

Special shout out to Happiest Nappy. Tell hubby he gets mad props for being educated about naturalness AND supportive.

Still I Rise - Part I

I have a tradition to begin the new year of Natural Awakenings with words of encouragement and motivation. For I have come to learn that this journey is much deeper than the external tresses that adorn our heads. I contend that the courage and strength to return to our naturalness begins internally and extends outward, a continuum of physical, emotional and spiritual growth.

It has been impossible to try to encourage and share with others when I couldn’t even encourage myself. I believed my Jan 1 post to be my last. So I must first extend sincere gratitude to my readers who placed my bruised spirit on their shoulders and through their posts helped me to once again begin to rise…

Queen Nat - Sereni-T - Love’nyalocs - Happiest Nappy - still waters - blaquegoddess - Sis RJQueen10 - Jenn - Euphoria - foxydiva - Angel Locs - Docs Locs – dewdrop – TRA – MeikMeika – iasade - Maryee - Phoenix Rising - DiVA LaReine - 3girlsmomma - Kittylocs - Naturally Free - Nu-Me – NAPturAllBluT – Luebella – NubianLockedPrincess – sauda – LaLaBooBaby - HtheRealist - new2locs – Chocolocs – Khandi - WandaWoman - Nubian1 – DaChristmasBaby – RedRose - LadyButterfly - char…and countless others -

especially my good friend, consultant and inspiration, Gigi and my little sis, T who found the strength to encourage and help to lift me even as she fights the battle with Breast Cancer. She is indeed my Shero.

As we proceed on this journey of Natural Awakenings I share with you some helpful tools that I use to assist me on my internal journey of discovering the true BlaqKofi and my purpose.

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne (DVD, Book, Audio) I own all three. This series was the start of my internal change. I recommend watching the DVD first. The audio lives in my car cd player and on my iPod. Powerful and life altering!








Loving What Is by Byron Katie – I was recently introduced to this author by my friend, consultant and unofficial life coach, Gigi through Oprah’s Soul Series. (Click the link to view Oprah's interview with Byron Katie.) I am currently reading and experiencing this life changing work.




No Matter What – Lisa Nichols I was first introduced to Lisa Nichols through The Secret. Gigi introduced me to her No Matter What audio which spoke to me so powerfully and gave me the insight to ask “a better question.” Not, “why me?,” but rather, “what did I learn from this experience?” She teaches that experiences give us two perspectives: either a really great and wonderful experience, or a really great and wonderful lesson. The key is to learn from the lessons, grow and move on to the next higher experience.

As I begin to once again rise, reflect on life’s lessons learned and God’s purpose for me, I will continue to share my Sisterlocks journey.

My prayer is that you will be inspired not only by photos of the external BlaqKofi, but you will be internally motivated to explore the greatness that lies within each of us as we continue this Natural Awakenings.

A Good Woman

A good woman is proud of herself.
She respects herself and others.
She is aware of who she is.
She neither seeks definition from the person she is with,
or does she expect them to read her mind.
She is quite capable of articulating her needs.

A good woman is hopeful. She is strong enough to make all her dreams come true. She knows love, therefore she gives love. She recognizes that her love has great value and must be reciprocated. If her love is taken for granted, it soon disappears.

A good woman has a dash of inspiration, a dabble of endurance. She knows that she will, at times, have to inspire others to reach the potential God gave them.
A good woman knows her past, understands her present
and moves toward the future.

A good woman knows God.
She knows that with God the world is her playground,
but without God she will just be played.

A good woman does not live in fear
of the future because of her past.
Instead, she understands that her life
experiences are merely lessons,
meant to bring her closer to self knowledge
and unconditional self love.
(Author unknown. Gifted to me. I in turn, gift it to you.)

BlaqKofi(Hair: Freshly retightened day of photo.

Week old, loosely rolled, soft spike curl set.)

Photos: Courtesy of my son, KD

Three Years on Loc Down

3 Years 2daDay

Freshly retightened; Week old flex rod set

Greetings, beautiful nubian queens and kings...Blaq is baq. I've thirst to share words and my Sisterlocks journey with you. Life's full and busy and I'm happy.

I celebrated three years on loc down, June 10-11, 2008. Going natural remains THE most liberating experience of my life. 36 months into this Sisterlocks journey, there's not one thing I would do differently - other than get Sisterlocks years earlier.

I got into many relationships expecting my partner to show me my beauty, because I didn't see my own beauty. When I was growing up, my heroes or my "she-roes" were the Bionic Woman, Wonder Woman, and Charlie's Angels. And while they're wonderful, they didn't look like me. It wasn't until I fell in love with Blaq-I fell in love with my mocha skin, my full lips, my round hips, my curly hair - it wasn't until that happened that the rest of the world was able to fall in love with me as well.

Lisa Nichols, The Secret
The following styles were worn over the past ten days.

Soft Spike Set
Ad more locks to each curler for a softer look. Spritz with Lottabody as you roll.
Total of about 12 rollers depending on hair density and thickness.
Lottabody absorbs fast. Spritzing as you roll prevents over use
which can cause flaking.

Loose Curl Soft Spike Set
secured w/B-Tie


Braid Out/Krinkles
Wash locks, towel dry, moisturize,
braid in 10-12 plats. Lightly spritz with Lottabody.
Leave in overnight. Take down, finger style for the following looks:

Baq soon with more Natural Awakenings. Until then...Peace & blessings.

Work What You Got: Mary & Blaq

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same(1)

Or as Mary J says - Work What You Got!

(1 )Marianne Willliamson. As quoted from Akeelah and the Bee.

Blaq

Hairstyles Top - Braid out. Dampen locks w/water or Lottabody, place n 10-12 braids. Tuck or roll ends. Leave in overnight. Take down, finger style and go. Last 2 weeks.
Other pics/video - freestyle pony using, B-Tie to secure.

Let Go in 2008

I like to begin the new year of Natural Awakenings with words of enlightenment. Afterall, this journey is much deeper than the tresses that adorn our heads. My life has been so full of demands that the time to give the subject the attention it deserves has evaded me.

As month one of 2008 comes to its conclusion, I reasoned - what better time to share - when perhaps our New Year's resolve may be somewhat weakened, or possibly usurped by life's challenges.

I was gifted with words of encouragement by two dear friends on two separate occassions. Their words so powerful and confirming of one another that I, in turn, gift them to you....

My Sister wrote:

I wish you the best in this new year. With love I invite you to let go of all that did not serve you in 2007. Next, embrace all that is to come and all that you will create in 2008. You deserve all the good that God has to offer....

Another Sister shared:

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this. When people can walk away from you: let them walk!

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you or staying attached to you.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. It doesn't mean that they are a bad person; it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over.

I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful. I know whatever God means for me to have, He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you.....LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents....LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude.....LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him........LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship........LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed .....LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to.....LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. God has done something wonderful in 2007 and is doing a new thing for 2008.

Much love Gigi and Jenn...

Stay Strong, Stay Lifted, Stay Natural

BlaqKofi

I Like 'Em Afterall

I've finally begun to enjoy my highlights and "own" them now that the tones are softer. I got lots of compliments at church today, one in particular from my sister, Gladys; who recently became conscious of Sisterlocks once mom got them otherwise it was just something new that Blaq was tryin'.
Mom made an uncharacteristiclly bold and brave step and I'm so proud her! When we're together people can see what is and what is to be - a powerful testimony to Sisterlocks and natural freedom.
Harriett Tubman said, while being interviewed about freeing one thousand of the enslaved...
"I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves. "

Might the same hold true for our Natural Awakenings?